Sunday, June 21, 2009

Fatherhood and parenting

Before a new skill sinks in, Malcolm Gladwell believes that one must commit to spending at least 10,000 hours of hard work. Seth Godin believes this. Bob Lefsetz believes this.It makes sense so who wouldn't?

In his book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus", John Grey wrote something about a learning theory at the last page - that new things, ideas, feelings, and whatever else needs to be learned and relearned, requires patient insistence on 200 repetitions before things finally sink in.

We all need a role model to look up to. Someone that guides us in and to the right direction, gives us that spiritual nourishment, knowledge, and more importantly emotional support. We need this most importantly in our younger years.

We all need someone to inspire and lead us in setting the right goals. Someone that can father a cause. Someone that could endure to parent the labor of hopes despite the hurdles that goes with it while growing up. We need those.

Sadly not everyone is privileged with this enlightenment.

And so it becomes this not-everyone's responsibility to relearn what a loving father is. Many times more often, this not-everyone ends up learning it the hardest way... simply because there is no user's manual to guide him through.

In the process, the not-everyone guy takes 200 repetitions. He takes 10,000 hours of hard work to patiently get there. Be aware though that this learning curve is utterly painful.

To those who were blessed with a great loving father, an awesome man that have successfully shown how a mother should be loved and respected, love him back - a hug, a note, a sincere talk, or a compliment of his latest accomplishment. Your loving father deserves that congratulatory feeling of abundance.

To those who haven't gotten there yet, don't give up. Never give up. Your father loves you. He is just wired differently. Be patient. He may have a lot of unresolved issues and he too may have been misguided in his youth. It's not his fault.

If you hated him it's because you do love him.

So take an extra effort on baby steps in spending time to relearn. Show your father that you care. Be his role model. Learn to endure the 200 repetitions and the 10,000 hours. It might even take more than that and many times more often, the results can be frustratingly slow. But don't give up.


1 comment:

onlyvic said...

happy father's day too to my dad. to wherever he is with so much love from me. :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...