Liars know how to lie best without getting caught. They're good at making it sound so true and heartfelt. And they don't trust anyone.
Those that have a lot to hide think that others hide a lot too. What is there to hide anyway? You don't need to block off people. Simply say and reveal what is only required. Simply ask and more importantly, ask the right questions.
Skeptics will stay skeptic. And they'll have a hard time getting people to trust them. People will notice and things will be counterproductive instead.
Imperfections bear unique personalities that breathes in the things that we do. When someone fails to put his or her best foot forward, be thankful it happened. Because it means there's no reason not to like that better foot when it steps forward.
Give it a good chance. Forgive. And more importantly - forget.
Nothing is perfect so stop being one.
Stay as positive as you can. Frustrations happen and it's sometimes unbearable, yes. It takes a big soulful heart to trust that good things can be done to make things better rather than dwell in those that put you down.
Don't worry too much.
Be not afraid to lose... be more afraid of not being able to give. And there's nothing to lose when you trust more.
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Friday, September 4, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Many times more often
Many times more often we blame people for our mistakes. Even to those we love so much.
Many times more often we forget to listen to what was really being said and instead seem to insist on what we thought was right. Is it because we are simply wired uniquely brought up differently?
Many times more often men tend to "run away" when things become sensitive. They go quiet. I admittedly fall into this crack very often. Speaking as a man, this process is utterly painful.
Many times more often a woman attempts to talk to her man when things get rough - sometimes even literally follows him. At the end of the day, while the intention was to resolve issues and hopefully to get things patched up, they both end up hurting each other. At the end of the week, they end up breaking each other's hearts.
Many times more often a man gets defensive when his woman whom he loves so much start talking about her frustrations. While she craves for her feelings to be validated, her man hears her blaming him. To him, she sounded like she was unprotected and he feels that he is at fault and responsible. Sadly men often not know this and this is again painful.
A man complaining about his woman's requests, I strangely learned, is simply just a sign of love. Men go through a process of deliberately considering the how-to-accomplish-their-woman's-request against his personal need before he delivers. If a woman is persistent and patient enough, his man will oblige and he will be transformed.
While women see their men "running away", it is because he is in a process to fix things on his own. On his own and his own alone.
A man needs space. He needs it badly yet often doesn't know he does or why he does. However it is done, he needs that independence. Unfortunately many times more often, he doesn't know how to ask for it. Or even if he did, many times more often, his woman may view it differently and take it as a rejection. When a man is in a sensitive state he is also at his most vulnerable condition.
There are more misunderstandings and misconstrued signals that happen in a relationship. Many times more often we tag it as complications. Strangely as it may seem however, all the hurtful exchange was not intentional.
It has a lot to do with the people around us, our upbringing, our culture, our personal perspectives, our influences - the people that we look up to as role models. Ultimately the "complications" is simply just about our differences - not just as people but also as man and woman.
And while this is a personal responsibility to keep in mind, our human limitations tempt us to fail. Each of us need to learn how to resist it.
But there is hope.
I know there is hope because no one is to be blamed for anything and each one of us is entitled to make a good change.
We simply need to grow up and learn and grow up and relearn. Many times more often we hurt back the ones we care so much about - particularly at times when we feel hurt. The scary thing is that when this happens, we lose awareness and end up hurting the one we love... again and again and again.
Is this really just part of understanding what love is? So how can this be achieved if we keep on changing partners? How can the need to understand love be attained if we give up many times more often? How can love be understood if companionship is taken as convenience instead of whatever it is supposed to be?
I'm not being a know-it-all. In fact I'm not even close to being credible. I keep on failing and I'm never proud of it.
So why am I sharing this?
Because I am not an exception.
Many times more often we forget to listen to what was really being said and instead seem to insist on what we thought was right. Is it because we are simply wired uniquely brought up differently?
Many times more often men tend to "run away" when things become sensitive. They go quiet. I admittedly fall into this crack very often. Speaking as a man, this process is utterly painful.
Many times more often a woman attempts to talk to her man when things get rough - sometimes even literally follows him. At the end of the day, while the intention was to resolve issues and hopefully to get things patched up, they both end up hurting each other. At the end of the week, they end up breaking each other's hearts.
Many times more often a man gets defensive when his woman whom he loves so much start talking about her frustrations. While she craves for her feelings to be validated, her man hears her blaming him. To him, she sounded like she was unprotected and he feels that he is at fault and responsible. Sadly men often not know this and this is again painful.
A man complaining about his woman's requests, I strangely learned, is simply just a sign of love. Men go through a process of deliberately considering the how-to-accomplish-their-woman's-request against his personal need before he delivers. If a woman is persistent and patient enough, his man will oblige and he will be transformed.
While women see their men "running away", it is because he is in a process to fix things on his own. On his own and his own alone.
A man needs space. He needs it badly yet often doesn't know he does or why he does. However it is done, he needs that independence. Unfortunately many times more often, he doesn't know how to ask for it. Or even if he did, many times more often, his woman may view it differently and take it as a rejection. When a man is in a sensitive state he is also at his most vulnerable condition.
There are more misunderstandings and misconstrued signals that happen in a relationship. Many times more often we tag it as complications. Strangely as it may seem however, all the hurtful exchange was not intentional.
It has a lot to do with the people around us, our upbringing, our culture, our personal perspectives, our influences - the people that we look up to as role models. Ultimately the "complications" is simply just about our differences - not just as people but also as man and woman.
And while this is a personal responsibility to keep in mind, our human limitations tempt us to fail. Each of us need to learn how to resist it.
But there is hope.
I know there is hope because no one is to be blamed for anything and each one of us is entitled to make a good change.
We simply need to grow up and learn and grow up and relearn. Many times more often we hurt back the ones we care so much about - particularly at times when we feel hurt. The scary thing is that when this happens, we lose awareness and end up hurting the one we love... again and again and again.
Is this really just part of understanding what love is? So how can this be achieved if we keep on changing partners? How can the need to understand love be attained if we give up many times more often? How can love be understood if companionship is taken as convenience instead of whatever it is supposed to be?
I'm not being a know-it-all. In fact I'm not even close to being credible. I keep on failing and I'm never proud of it.
So why am I sharing this?
Because I am not an exception.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Labels build false characters
Prejudice leads to false character building.
Being judged or labeled may be inevitable. And while it happens, the judged eventually become what they were branded for because other people approached them as such.
For example, if we believe that all blonds are dumb, we will most likely talk to them as if they really are idiots. We approach them as such, they respond appropriately, then we respond back, they respond again and then us and then them and so on.
Characters shape up because sometimes we unknowingly look for the character we believe a person is suppose to be, usually based on how we first know or heard of him/her. In our exampe, the process created the "dumb blond" personality.
And if at the first attempt the dumb-blond-theory failed, some may opt to persist and insist. And the cycle goes on. We decide to stop only when the judgement is proven. Unaware that we are simply satisfying an equation that didn't exist.
Hasty conclusions. A self fulfillment prophesy. It's a recurring pattern yet we still fail often at it.
We never learn.
Being judged or labeled may be inevitable. And while it happens, the judged eventually become what they were branded for because other people approached them as such.
For example, if we believe that all blonds are dumb, we will most likely talk to them as if they really are idiots. We approach them as such, they respond appropriately, then we respond back, they respond again and then us and then them and so on.
Characters shape up because sometimes we unknowingly look for the character we believe a person is suppose to be, usually based on how we first know or heard of him/her. In our exampe, the process created the "dumb blond" personality.
And if at the first attempt the dumb-blond-theory failed, some may opt to persist and insist. And the cycle goes on. We decide to stop only when the judgement is proven. Unaware that we are simply satisfying an equation that didn't exist.
Hasty conclusions. A self fulfillment prophesy. It's a recurring pattern yet we still fail often at it.
We never learn.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
About culture building
Just when everybody starts believing that things don't work, there will always be a few who would dare to take the plunge and think the other way.
These few usually stand out. These few usually become the champions of a cause (not to be confused with ego here). These few, with enough endurance, determination, and the right healthy and positive attitude - not the kind that restricts people, usually win.
One of the major challenges in achieving success is when the goal involves changing a culture or lifestyle. Normally when a person is told what to do, resistance is usually the first response - but only when he or she doesn't see the value of it.
An idea, like music is only good when a large lump of people can benefit from it. That's when a culture starts building itself. But of course believing in it is important and must not be taken for granted.
Persistence is usually the right path to take. As to knowing when the results come may be a mystery, it is the waiting and the challenge that makes it exciting.
These few usually stand out. These few usually become the champions of a cause (not to be confused with ego here). These few, with enough endurance, determination, and the right healthy and positive attitude - not the kind that restricts people, usually win.
One of the major challenges in achieving success is when the goal involves changing a culture or lifestyle. Normally when a person is told what to do, resistance is usually the first response - but only when he or she doesn't see the value of it.
An idea, like music is only good when a large lump of people can benefit from it. That's when a culture starts building itself. But of course believing in it is important and must not be taken for granted.
Persistence is usually the right path to take. As to knowing when the results come may be a mystery, it is the waiting and the challenge that makes it exciting.
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